The Checkup

“Rodney!” Mr. Bellows bellowed.

Startled, Rodney jumped up and looked over his cubicle wall to see Mr. Bellows rumbling down the aisle. “Yes, sir?”

“You forgot column D in this report. That’s the second time in the last two days you forgot something. What is your problem?” he yelled.

“I don’t know. I just forgot,” Rodney said grimacing at his mistake.

“Well, one more error and you’re out of here,” Mr. Bellows said pointing his finger menacingly in Rodney’s face.

“I’ll try harder, sir,” Rodney said bowing his head in disgrace. “I don’t.…”

“I don’t want any excuses, and that is the final word on the matter,” Mr. Bellows huffed, turned, and stomped back to his office.

Rodney glanced around at all his fellow workers staring over their cubicles. He thought they at least looked sympathetic.

Barney peered over the cubicle wall and with a worried look said, “Are you all right?”

“I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I seem to be forgetting things lately. I can’t afford to lose my job. I’m 58 years old and jobs are hard to find. Everyone wants younger workers. We old vintage guys are just not in demand anymore.”

“Maybe you need a checkup. You could have something wrong with you. Forgetting isn’t good,” Barney offered.

“I feel fine,” Rodney said. “I have the usual creaks and groans someone my age has, but I’m fine.”

“Well, something’s wrong.” Barney looked worried.

“I suppose you’re right. Maybe I should get a checkup. I haven’t had one since I can’t remember when.” Rodney stared at his computer screen.

The whistle blew and everyone filed out of the building and headed for their evening destinations. Rodney walked to the Medical Building nearby and checked in with the receptionist.

“It will be a few moments, would you please have a seat, and we’ll call you,” she said without looking up.

Rodney took a seat. He saw only one other worker there with his arm in a sling.

Five minutes later, a nurse came out. “Follow me, please,” she said. She directed him to checkup room three but before he could sit down in the molded plastic chair three technicians poked and prodded him a wll the while riting things down on their clipboards. It was all very disconcerting to Rodney since no one had even asked why he was there.

Ten minutes elapsed and they all left. Rodney sat alone in the small room. Now what?

The door opened and a professional looking man came in with a computer printout attached to his clipboard. His name badge said Dr. Hiram.

 “Hmm, let’s see. Are you having any problems with your memory?” he asked.

“Well, yes I am. Do you see something wrong?”

“When was the last time you had a checkup?” he asked.

“I really haven’t had one that I can remember,” Rodney answered.

“And you’re 58 years old? You shouldn’t let yourself go like that,” Dr. Hiram said.

“What’s the matter with me?” Rodney questioned.

“Well, you have been running on batteries designed to last only 50 years. We’ll put in some new LPX758 batteries. They will last 130 years and you’ll be as good as new.”